By BETSY CUNNEEN
January 29, 2006

Making big transitions in one’s life is always difficult. Altering one’s lifestyle and adopting new ways of performing daily tasks and in a sense, rebuilding who you are, is really a challenge. Some of the big adjustments that people experience, such as going off to college, or getting married and having children, are all examples of occasions in people’s lives that mark a pivotal point for change and growth.

Studying abroad should be included in that category as well, whether it is living in a different country, or simply studying there for any amount of time -- no matter what anyone says, it’s hard. Now that I have adjusted to being a typical Abbey student again, I have become aware of so many things that I learned from studying abroad.

I learned French (or at least enough to function). Language is so essential to who we are, and we use it (and sometimes misuse it) every day of our lives, at times without thinking about it. Losing the ability to communicate is eye opening. It’s like being knocked down to the mental capacity of a child, but you don’t have the excuse of being inexperienced and naive. Others around you can communicate, express themselves and function perfectly well, while you’re simplified to phrases such as “I am hungry” or “I am fine today, how are you?” I now have an enormous amount of respect for those people who come here from other countries and learn our language. I will admit that before I went to France I often questioned why foreigners “couldn’t just learn English?” Now I have experienced what a long process learning a foreign language can be. It’s a process that takes time, perseverance, and patience.

I gained perspective. I was blessed to meet some really great friends throughout my semester abroad. Establishing those friendships did so much more for me than just ease the daily stresses. They broadened my perception of the world. I heard stories, opinions and experiences I had never encountered before that made me reflect on who I am and where I come from. I am expected to write a history paper for Dr. McGee about my travels, and to be honest, I feel that I learned just as much, if not more, speaking with friends from countries like Germany, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium. Their perspectives on Americans, our country and our ideals truly broadened my view of who we are, and what I represent as an American to the remainder of the world.

I learned that I couldn’t always call mom. Thank God I was able to stay in contact with my friends and family through the internet and sometimes by phone. At times I would depend on that communication to keep me focused and grounded when I would become overwhelmed or frustrated. But for the most part I had to make decisions on my own, and I would end up informing others of those decisions after the fact instead of depending on them for counsel.

This trip was something that mom couldn’t necessarily help me with. She couldn’t plan my trips, get me to the airport on time, or translate French into English for me. I had to do those things by myself. Developing my leadership skills is something that I hold very highly, and even though I wasn’t organizing a club or facilitating meetings, my ability to lead was still being exercised. I was entirely independent and was forced to make good decisions without the direct guidance of my family and friends.

I had to learn how to be flexible and accept what circumstances arose. I was thrown into a world that I had absolutely no previous knowledge of. Everything was unfamiliar and scary, it was challenging simply to understand people, places, and events around me. In English, I am able to communicate exactly how I feel about certain situations, but because of the language barrier, I could only absorb the events and circumstances that took place around me. It was extremely challenging and humbling in the beginning, and reflecting on that time helps me to be more accepting of situations that I cannot change.

I challenge each of you to do it. Live in a foreign place. Adjust to different ways of life. Listen to the experiences of others, and opinions around you, even if you don’t agree with them. Be independent. Attempt to make good decisions based on what you have been taught up until that point. Learn from everyone and everything you encounter, do not compromise yourself, but attempt to learn at least one thing from every person you meet, no matter how different or similar they are from you. And enjoy all of it!

By going to France, I willingly placed myself outside of my comfort zone. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but I attempted to make every moment count and take advantage of every opportunity to be in a different country so that I could look back on it and say not only that I had “an experience that I will always remember” but an experience that remains with me throughout the rest of my life and is expressed daily through my person, thoughts and actions.